babies were throwing up all over the place
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
