That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
