It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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