I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
