i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
