wanna go halves on a baby?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
