You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
