ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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