listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
And then he peed in my hair
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
