I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
