my phone needs a breathalizer
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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