i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
