On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
