Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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