And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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