He kissed a someone with a penis
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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