I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
