Plan B is the new Plan A
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
