Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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