I want to stick my p in your. b.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
