wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
