Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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