is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
