soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
