what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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