All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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