He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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