Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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