If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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