Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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