The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
