My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
