I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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