I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I have fence marks all over my body
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
