does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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