we have pet lesbian snakes
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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