Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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