dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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