He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
