i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize