can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
