I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I looked at my own cervix.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize