of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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