You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The adults are the big ones right?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
