Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
