Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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