Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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