But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
