Do vagina's smell?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
