You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
