There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
