thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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