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Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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