This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
