Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
