It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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