Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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