we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
