Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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