There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
