so that wasnt chicken after all
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
