Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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