So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
